Marraiges

esAs a bachelor i always wondered why there was such a hustle & bustle about marraige..why we would celebrate it with such fervour & gaiety(not to mention pomp & show) , why married women where so talkitive & married men in such a pensive mood, why marraige would mean the begining of another chapter in the lives of the married ones…etc

Now i realise marraige isnt all that we perceive it to be. Its more of living at peace with your partner just as if you are living with yourself. Coming from nuclear families, all prospective brides & grooms are totally pampered by their parents,so when it comes to living on their own with a complete stranger, it seems like an exciting & adventorous part of our existance initially but slowly reality begins to knock loud & clear.

The beauty of marraige is the journey in which we discover realms of each others being. Its more to do with being commited to the relation rather than commitment itself, loving each other rather than being loved, trying to change the bad habbits of each other without changing each other, to support each other through thick & thin : in apercu to be a friend,guide,lover,muse, philosopher to your partner.

In starting our new life we face many problems. differnt people think differently ,act differently, behave differently.It’s all a matter of giving each other time & space to get adjusted to each other’s personsality,habbits,behaviour,thoughts etc.

Love is important in any relationship.It keeps you going through the worst of times but a time may come when the love wont express itself through actions,words or deeds.Thats the time any couple can truly gauge the strength of their relationship.Inspite of whether your partner has had a past relation that didnt work out or you where into some other failed relation if the two of you are happy together, nothing else is going to matter more.

Love marraiges arent a sure sucess story..Eventually the Love goes & the marraige remains..As a pessimist once said “comparing arranged & love marraiges is just like asking is suicide better or murder”. So all of you out there who are wondering whose the right guy, just ask yourselves “can i be happy with him/her when i am old & weak.Those of you who are too afraid to try out a relationship for fear of failure i would just say “its better to have tried & lost then to not have tried at all”.

its commonly said that Marriages are made in heaven but celebrated on earth. What about divorces then?? So I think there is nothing like a perfect made-for-each-other couple. Marriage teaches us how to tackle situations on our own. How to adapt to a new family, a new life, new roles, and new challenges.

Marriage is another chapter in the book of our lives. It teaches us to learn new facets about each other with each passing day , to understand how the other functions, how we can make each other comfortable & how our lives can be better together. One forgets to think of our own self, we think of each other & that in itself makes us happy. In marriage one realises each day isn’t going to be a happy, bright, joyous day. This is life so some days we will be faced with hardships, stresses, tensions, problems, fury & what not. If we can resolve all these emotions together, then life is indeed going to be a pleasant journey

It’s often said when you marry a person you don’t only marry him but you marry the entire family. If we respect & love each others family, we will make our lives less stressful & more peaceful. With each day of married life we observe changes in ourselves.
One lady I once met shocked me by saying aloud“we shouldn’t let our lives revolve around our husbands, who knows aaj hein Kal na ho ya divorce hojaye…you never know
divorce is no longer a taboo word, itno ka hota hei..Whats the big deal”.

i believe marriage is more about love; it’s about compatibility, understanding, trust & true friendship. There is no recipe for a successful marriage, its all that we make out of it
i couldnt disagree more with “who knows kal ho na ho” kind of stance..thats being naive & clever at the same time.to be honest who has seen tomorrow,it could be judgement day or it could be just another normal day. by trying to protect ourself & our feelings from being hurt we cant just become like a tortise,living life in a shell..

even if we depend on your partner,we can give them the freedom. wanting to see our life inter twined with that of our partner wont make us obselete as an individual with independant thinking.its what we want /allow our live sto be.one has to be totally retarded to let relations or people dictate hisher life.i belive inheriting the values of your family is a virtue that not everyone can boast of these days.repect,love,caring & sharing wont ever be stupid.challenging all thats taught to us will make us a rebellious brat & nothing else.

loyality to our parents & partner doesnt amke us naive,it makes us trust our loved ones.partners exist independently everywhere..no one lives another ones life;no one can.but its the sense of having a special someone in ones life that makes all the trilas & turbulations of life seem easy–as now we have someone to share the burden with us

Live in relationships or experimenting relationships in the hope of finding the perfect one leaves many discontent & lonely at the end..we cant always have relationships on our terms.. the essentials of relationships should never be compromised but I aint sure how it feels to demand love when it’s not given willingly?!?

life shouldn’t end up in a compromise nor should it end up in just passing time with people who give you good vibes but no stability emotionally or otherwise
I believe if you have to demand love, than its not yours. If your partner loves you or you have been able to develop a relation which generates love between the both of you then neither of you will have to demand love, respect or care. It’s going to flow on its own.

I belive there are some tools which aggrendise the married llife of two people. One of them is communication. Communication between the partners is the key to a healthy relationship, arranged marriages thrive on communication. Two complete strangers live a happy married life essentially because they can communicate their views, likes, dislikes etc.
Another important factor which is crucial is arguments between couples is argument. When couples argue, they are actually giving vent to all the negative vibes that exist within them. After the arguments get resolved, the couples come closer & their relation becomes stronger

I guess there is no perfect recipe for an ideal relationship or marriage.marraige I believe is all that the couples make of it. If we can develop a relationship based on friendship, love, respect, openness, communication, honesty etc then even if the two have been strangers. They definitely become soul mates